Discovering freedom from plotting vengeance! We often encounter situations and people who hurt us, mistake us, harm us, who insult us, who plot against us, whose actions seem calculated simply to frustrate the successful achievement of our goals. Sometimes these are obvious acts, such as a co-worker or a family member who continually steals our ideas or speaks badly of us to our boss or family members. Sometimes these acts are more subtle – a friend, relative or colleague who unexpectedly mistakes us or betrays us or whom we find has been surreptitiously speaking negatively about us behind our back. We often wonder “How could he/she hurt me like that? How could they do this to me?” Then, our hearts become filled with anger and pain, and our minds start plotting vengeance. We need to develop a strong heart to grow over such situations.
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Once upon a time, in a gurukula, when Guruji lived, a man named Somadutta went to him and asked “What is the worth of human life?” Guruji smiled and instead gave him a shining stone and said “First go and find the worth of this stone.” Somadutta got puzzled with Guruji’s reply. But without saying anything he took the stone and was about to go when Guruji reminded him not to sell the stone in any case. Somadutta, though bit surprised, took that stone and went to the market. First he went to an Orange seller and asked him about the worth of the stone. Orange seller replied “I will give a dozens of oranges and you give this stone to me.” Somadutta moved on and then went to a vegetable vendor and asked him the same question. The vendor exclaimed “Take a sack of potatoes and leave this shiny stone.” Somadutta still not satisfied with all these answers kept going on. Next he went to a goldsmith and showed him the stone. Goldsmith amazed by the shine of the stone said “Sell me this s
Oh life, you are blooming like a flower! Life is all about living to its fullest potential – not leaving any unused. It is all about the highs, the lows and everything else in between. Recognising, acknowledging, accepting and appreciating ourselves as we are is one of the most important things to live life to it’s fullest potential. Accepting ourselves doesn’t just mean that we superficially pamper ourselves with our likes and dislikes; it means that we wholeheartedly accept, appreciate and acknowledge for being what we are. It is unfortunate that we resist ourselves more than anything. We fail to put ourselves first, we fail to accept ourselves without change, amendments and makeup. Are we impartial in our lives? Definitely not, we judge things, people, situations to the core – we justify our likes and dislikes. We fail to respond and reflect like a mirror, however, we react to the core. To judge is to punish, it is violence; we need to learn to respond impartially. W
Dancing with the flow! In any relationship, what binds people together is the way they communicate. A healthy communication keeps relationship alive, it does great deal of help in finding the lost way come back and connects the disconnect. When you are upset in your relationship – think of accommodating people; spread out your hands to hide people in your arms. Accommodate people; they need your warmth, acceptance and recognition. Your hug would be creating heavenly moments for people. An appreciative hug, an acceptance hug can release you both from the sense of hurt generated by insecurity, anger and frustration. A true hug is limitless, boundless and hence it will make you dance without steps, without a right or wrong. Your dance with your partner communicates you are accepting and you are acceptable. Whenever you have a tussle with people, choose to remain communicative, choose not to get into a silent mode. It
Have you ever encountered your fear, anxiety and insecurities, face to face? It is not only hard but painful to take inventory of our insecurities and weaknesses. It is very hard and painful to know and feel not accepted by people around. In such a situation, it is next to impossible to remain responsive and stop reactive. In such situations we are emotionally disturbed and feel to withdraw and escape. If we are not willing to accept and accommodate disturbance and discomfort, well then we’ll never grow. If we can’t grow as a total individual or as a total person, our relationships can’t grow. We’ll be stuck wanting approvals, acceptance, not real relationship - which is the ability to be truly show our true face that belongs to people around. When something is very taxing in any relationship, then we perceive as a sign that something is drastically wrong – we switch to reactive mode. We see things going wrong. We fail in every aspect of relationship – communication, co
Making relationship work: What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships? It's to take full responsibility for the relationship, expecting nothing in return. Practicing this “Prasada Bhuddi” is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline and attitude to think, act and give much more. Each of us must determine the vision of relationships and to what principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work-associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends. In this scheme of things, we leave one person and seldom have we applied to oneself. Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate acceptance, compassion, accommodation, respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not. Do not expect anything in return. Do not allow anything the other person says or
What defines your worth? Normally, we define our worth externally, through others' approval’ and ‘acceptance’. We think, or we have been programmed to define our weight, our hair, our money, our job, our car, our clothes, our house, our mate, or the people we know as our worth. This attitude of looking outside to discover our worth creates considerable amount of hurt and guilt, which results in creating unhealthy self – image. With unhealthy self – image, I become a lone wounded solider – a Ninja. When our carefully nurtured Ninja is operating, we are constantly trying to look right and perform right, in order to get others attention, love and approval. The emotionally wounded solider feels worthy only when he receives validation from people around. This creates pain, anger, helplessness, stress and anxiety – emotional disturbance. We feel insecure when our whole sense of worth hinges upon getting others' approval and attention. We may even feel panicked w