Jealousy can destroy oneself!

What defines your worth? 

Normally, we define our worth externally, through others' approval’ and ‘acceptance’.  We think, or we have been programmed to define our weight, our hair, our money, our job, our car, our clothes, our house, our mate, or the people we know as our worth. 

This attitude of looking outside to discover our worth creates considerable amount of hurt and guilt, which results in creating unhealthy self – image. With unhealthy self – image, I become a lone wounded solider – a Ninja. When our carefully nurtured Ninja is operating, we are constantly trying to look right and perform right, in order to get others attention, love and approval. The emotionally wounded solider feels worthy only when he receives validation from people around.  

This creates pain, anger, helplessness, stress and anxiety – emotional disturbance. We feel insecure when our whole sense of worth hinges upon getting others' approval and attention. We may even feel panicked when we fear making mistakes and running the risk of disapproval and rejection from people around. We find ourselves judging everything in our effort to get noticed "right" – accepted “right”.

The Ninja in us believes we can have control over how others treat us. Therefore, if someone doesn't like us or criticise us, we may go to his root or end-up accepting it must be our fault: "Did I say something wrong?" "What did I do wrong?" etc… Believing it is my mistake gives the Ninja within to go defensive or a sense of power and control: "If it is my fault that someone doesn't like me or rejects me, then I just have to figure out how to do it right, and then I can have control over how others feel about me." Therefore, the Ninja ends-up expressing, “The world is conspiring to hurt me”.

This belief system, hurts our core; the self – image. Unhealthy self – image breeds from the false belief, understanding or estimation about oneself; that there is something intrinsically wrong with me - that you are inherently come with a defect, wrong, inadequacy, flawed, unimportant, unworthy – end-up judging.

As small children, if you didn't get the love, attention, and acceptance you needed, you may have concluded that it was your fault, rather than recognizing your parents' inability and ignorance to love and accept you in the way your self – growth may be ignited. It is unfortunate, children see their parents as the wounded one, struggling to prove a point or two. They understand and conclude their parents' are crushingly helpless over getting the love and acceptance they looked for. Instead, most of the parents chose to try to establish control over their children and expect them to provide enough care and acceptance, otherwise they reject their own children.

Since, their lack of self - love was at fault, they end up nursing a core that is unhealthy and defective. Accordingly, children end – up believing in their own inherent fault and defectiveness, and feel a sense of helplessness and poor self - worth.

The problem is, we forgot that we actually chose to operate from our unhealthy self – image, the core; many of us now operate out of our damaged self – image, not understanding who we are and what is our worth. When we believe we are inherently defective, we then have to hide our true self, our essence, and try to become what we think we need to be, to be acceptable. The Ninja in us takes over and loses touch with the truth within – the true face that explains - who we really are. We are stuck defining ourselves through our masks and it’s make – up. We are stuck suffering the emotional disturbances that comes from being so sensitive to others’ disapproval.

It is worth to discover your self – worth!