Making relationship work:

What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships?  
It's to take full responsibility for the relationship, expecting nothing in return.

Practicing this “Prasada Bhuddi” is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline and attitude to think, act and give much more. Each of us must determine the vision of relationships and to what principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work-associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends. In this scheme of things, we leave one person and seldom have we applied to oneself.

Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate acceptance, compassion, accommodation, respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not. Do not expect anything in return. Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait. Do not allow all these things to come in.

Is it not wise to be persistent with our graciousness and kindness? Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return. When we do not expect anything, we remain strong on our ground.

At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite our total commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, we need to avoid being the "Knower" and shift to being the "Learner." Avoid Knower statements/ thoughts like "that won't work," "I'm right, you are wrong," "I know it and you don't," "I'll teach you," "that's just the way it is," "I need to tell you what I know," etc. Instead use Learner statements/thoughts like "Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation," "I could be wrong," "I wonder if there is anything of value here," "I wonder if..." etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!

This may strike you as strange, but here's the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the relationship quickly transforms into something total. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.


May God bless all!

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