We can grow in a relationship when we accept responsibility for our choices. By accepting the responsibility for our thoughts and actions we allow people to be as they are. We neutralize our demand for people to be, as we like and dislike, now by relating to people in a relationship as they are we achieve certain degree of maturity and to this degree we have grown. Relationship is total when we grow and discover freedom in it.

We have to understand our response toward others behaviour and others response toward our behaviour with a degree of certain maturity. We are mature for some extent if we understand others response as a behaviour helplessly dictated by their likes and dislikes, which has its roots either in the past or in the future; hurt or guilt. We are successful or free in a relationship when we relate to this fact and not with this person. Due to our failure in establishing healthy relationships, pleasing people or listening to people consume our entire life, thus there is no time left for self – enquiry and questions – to understand our own response to a situation.


In any relationship, if we are growing without depending on it and contributing love, care and affection then the relationship is helping us to grow and mature emotionally. Growing emotionally and attaining emotional maturity is the growth one should aspire for. If a relationship is not helping us to grow emotionally and attain emotional maturity then it is binding us and managing us, in such relationships there is no freedom, only conditions and demands will be there.

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